Phuket Prawns

6 tbsp vegetable oil
1 lb. tiger prawns, shelled (I think I had about 1.5 pounds - too much, really)
4 cloves garlic, finely diced
1/2 cup thinly sliced green bell pepper
1/2 cup thinly sliced red bell pepper
1/2 cup thinly sliced mushrooms
1/2 cup thinly sliced onion
1/2 cup Thai basil leaves (I had to omit these, as the City of Leduc enacted a rationing of these goods. Just kidding. Seriously, there's nowhere in Leduc to get any of these)
2 tsp. curry powder
1/4 cup fish sauce
2 tbsp. oyster sauce
3 tbsp. sugar

serve with steamed rice - I cooked 1.5 cups of Japanese sticky rice - enough to feed 4
***

Well, I busted out the Thai cookbook tonight. Actually, I busted it out last night, and took out the shrimp so they could thaw for tonight's meal. Honestly, it takes maybe 30 minutes. And most of that is just waiting for the rice to cook. Pre-cut the vegetables and your cooking time is down to about 5 minutes - if that. So wait until your rice is done before you start the shrimp and you are laughing.

Well, here are two memories I have of Phuket:

Yeah, that's Darcy's (he of TDWaterhouse-infamy) armpit. And just above and to the right is this hot Russian chick's bum-bum. Yeah, she was there good-looking but a little pale. Still, I'd wager a princely sum that the view to our left was way better than the view to our right. We had about three fifty-something year-old french women without their tops on and who were as brown and leathery as saddlebags.

That's Chef Jeremiah playing in the water. I look like one of those constipated kids who sits in the shallow end and piles sand on top of themselves, don't I? But I don't usually get constipated. In fact, we had the opposite problem our second night there...

Well, there are a few other things I remember. Like seeing that Israeli guy who was getting out of the tuk-tuk at his hotel with a latex-clad (Thai, female) nurse and a latex-clad (Thai, female) cop. Maybe he wanted to discuss Thai health-care and Thai law enforcement?


Back to Phuket. So, this dish is Phuket Prawns, and as mentioned above, you can cook it up in a snap! Mere minutes is all it takes.

Chef Jeremiah was, of course, nearly overtaken by the fish sauce. I mean, that stuff really assaults the ol' olfactory glands, but it sure adds flavour. Yum! And the oyster sauce, too! CJ hasn't cooked with that stuff for months. No question it was worth the wait.

The vegetables weren't overcooked - still crisp. With the shrimp being done maybe only 20 seconds too long. I often overcook those little crustaceans, so I was pleasantly surprised the way they turned out - not chewy at all. Even the sauce was done well, slightly sticky and a little sweet - and with just a hint of curry. Someone very wise once told me that it's all in the sauce... Darn well near perfect!

Here are the prawns (honestly, is there a cooler accent than that? The answer is "No", of course). But that's not the type of prawn you see below:

Day-um! Judging from the focus, Chef Jeremiah needs to upgrade his camera from the BlackBerry Curve 8330..

And the Jeremiah-sized serving:

Yeah, Chef Jeremiah and his crew even ate it with spoons. No farang here!

Grade: A solid 8.4 out of 10. It's a great quick dish.

Chef's Note: You won't see anymore photos from the Chef's kitchen. In fact, a move is imminent! Soon a new kitchen will be established in the Land of the Lutherans. So my little sous-chefs, don't fret if you don't see an update for a week...

Kit Kat

Nutrition Facts (per 45g bar):
Calories: 230
Fat: 18% of Daily Value
Cholesterol: 2% of Daily Value
Sodium: 2% of Daily Value
Carbohydrate: 10% of Daily Value
Vitamin A: 2% of Daily Value
Calcium: 6% of Daily Value
Iron: 8% of Daily Value

2 Bars of Nestlé products for $2 CAD at the local Petro-Canada here in Leduc.

***

Nestlé has always had a special place in my heart. With such scrumptious candies, I always wanted to cash in with their goods on Hallowe'en as a child...

The Kit Kat bar has recently moved into Chef Jeremiah's "Top Three Chocolate Bars". The number one slot is occupied by "Smarties" (another Nestlé product) - don't you EVER offer me any M&M's, otherwise I'll respond like this. The Silver Medal belongs to "Skor" (go for a Skor Blizzard at Dairy Queen. It is Divine. I swear they even meet the Virgin Mary's approval). Number Three is now the Kit Kat, with the Coffee Crisp close behind.

My allegiance to the Kit Kat shifted this past summer, during my tour against communism. We weren't allowed to leave the facility during our break time or for meals. So our Beloved-Employer-Corporation provided us with meals and snacks. Said snacks included fruit, banana bread, youghurt, cheese, leftovers from previous meals. And candy. If dentists had a Saint, I'm sure she/he would have rolled their eyes in disapproval.... but Chef Jeremiah's palate has a hunger for sweets. Chocolate in particular.

Most of the chocolate bars came in those small sizes that you'd hand out to children at Hallowe'en. Indeed, I think the Beloved-Employer-Corporation was dippin' into their supplies a little early.

Regardless, I had a lot of Nestlé in the summer. There's just something about those four crisp wafer bars of a Kit Kat surrounded by chocolate. I just love it. Sweet. Smooth. Creamy. Delicious!

I wonder if they've ever thought of increasing the size of the bar to include a fifth bar?

Keep your panties on - I know how badly you want to see one:

I'm not a marketing major and I'm far from a customer-service expert, but I think this bar is superb. Grade: 9.3 out of 10.

Chef's Note: It turns out those teeth-molesters DO have a saint. Appollonia is her name, and sounds like getting her teeth smashed was her game. Ouch.

Boston Brute w/ side bolognese, 2 mug Canadian draft, 2 side Clamato juice - Boston Pizza

Boston Brute - A deli style sandwich for the ages, this BP Favourite is loaded with Genoa salami, pepperoni, smoked ham, pizza mozzarella, onion and pizza sauce w/ a side of fries. Baked on a French-style bun. $9.95 CAD
With bolognese meat sauce. $2.25 CAD
2 Mug Canadian Draft - $8.00 CAD
2 Side Clamato - $1.90 CAD

***

I have no idea why they don't have a write-up on the beer or Clamato. That stuff goes together like the Dude and White Russians.

Well, it's pretty easy to make an Edmonton Oilers - Minnesota Wild regular season NHL game more entertaining - just do something else while the game is on. Seriously. I cannot remember the number of times I curse the Heavens for investing 2.5 hours into watching those games. Even the Count can't count that high. After watching too many Wild games, you become a broken man...

Anyway. So for what we all knew was going to be a boring game, a little sandwich with meat sauce and beer is a good solution.

I think there's one that Boston Pizza does well - their pizza sauce. Other than that, they are mediocre. Not terrible, and not fantastic. The atmosphere in the lounge was fine. Not too loud. Service wasn't bad, although the big screen tv had a few technical difficulties, making the game awkward to watch.

Jade, our waitress, was quick with the beer and drinks. And I didn't have to ask twice for the Clamato. Nothing causes rage like having to order your clam a second time.

The sandwich, while it has gotten smaller over the years (I had the "pleasure" of working at the Leduc BP when I was a teenager), was still pretty tasty. That salami and onions dipping into that sauce is all good. It helps when everything is still hot too. Generous portions all around.

Photo:

The grade: 6.4 out of 10.

Barley Sushi Salad with Nori

3/4 cup pearl barley
5 shiitake-mushroom caps, cut into strips
1/2 cup sliced smoked salmon
1/2 English cucumber, seeded and sliced into half moons (I used a non-English cucumber - I forget which type)
3 tbsp pickled ginger, coarsely chopped
2 tbsp rice vinegar
1 1/2 tsp granulated sugar
2 tsp dark sesame oil
1/2 tsp salt
1 sheet nori seaweed
1 tbsp toasted sesame seeds

***

Well, here is the Chatelaine recipe, Part Deux.

If I had to describe this salad in as few words as possible, while still maintaining it's "character" I would say: "Virgin Sushi Salad". Those three words is all it takes.

"Virgin": because it's close to raw fish, but not really, and the barley is a proxy to the rice

"Sushi": because it's still fish and there's the pickled ginger you will find accompanying said sushi.

"Salad": because it is indeed a salad.

In fact, I might even suggest this dish to someone who hasn't had the pleasure of tantalizing their palate with sushi before - a good "Virgin Sushi" dish... Like for that uncultured friend/relative of yours who has trouble trying something new. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.


I spent quite some time at my not-so-local Asian market to find the ingredients. My suggestion - find the Japanese section, and you'll find most of the necessary reagents there and not have to waste your time wading through the other sections.

In terms or preparation, this bad boy only takes about 30 minutes, most of which is spent waiting for the barley to cook.

Taste was pretty fresh. Not too overpowering, but I do like the combo between the pickled ginger and sesame oil/rice vinegar. It just reminds me of sushi.

Evidence:

It doesn't look fancy. I really should have spent more time separating the salmon, but, proper food presentation is a harsh mistress. I have yet to learn all she has to teach... Additionally, maybe a bit more barley to salmon/ginger ratio would be suggested too.

Overall, a solid if unspectacular grade of 7.6 out of 10.

Velvety Beet Cupcakes with Raspberry Icing

  Cupcakes:
1 1/4 cups all-purpose flour
1/4 cup unsweetened cocoa powder, preferably Fry's
3/4 teaspoon baking powder
1/4 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 398mL can beets, rinsed, drained & patted dry
3/4 cup granulated sugar
1/4 cup safflower oil
1 egg
1 tsp vanilla
1/2 cup buttermilk
  Icing:
1/2 250g block light cream cheese, cubed
1/2 cup icing sugar
1/4 cup frozen raspberries

***

Ahh, cupcakes. I always let out a little giggle when I hear that word. Ever since that fateful day of basic training in the army I had in the Summer of 1996... We were learning how to use to radio, how to sign-off, speak correctly, and how to use the phonetic alphabet (A - Alpha, B - Bravo, C - Charlie, D - Delta, etc...). Well one of the guys in our troop began the alphabet with "A - Alpha, B- Butterfly, C - Cupcake...." that was as far as he got until we all started laughing. "Butterfly"? "Cupcake"? Oh goodness, even our instructors had a chuckle after they berated him with numerous colourful, enlightening and confidence-boosting expletives (they would have made my potty-mouthed sous-chef "Nikki" blush), and before they punished us by sending ALL of us to run around the building 10 times. I tell you though, that guy in our group was a piece of work... not only did he lose a machine gun barrel, but he "forgot" that he had a machine gun (the Canadian C-6) in his locker. No shit, the Chef is not making this up. Oh boy. There was no helping this dude. No doubt in my mind some of the other guys were thinking of "fixing" the problem with one of these. That, thankfully, didn't happen, but I don't think anyone ever ate with that dude again after his clusterfuckups...

Back to cupcakes. I found this recipe in the January 2011 edition of Chatelaine. I was only reading it because it was on our kitchen table. Honestly.

But two recipes caught my eye: Velvety Beet Cupcakes with Raspberry Icing and Barley Sushi Salad with Nori. Both being on the same page, too.

So I ripped out the page, purchased the missing ingredients on the weekend (after my Eggs Benedict, in fact), and prepared to bake.

Beets in a cupcake does sound odd, doesn't it? Well, to be honest, you can't tell those little red devils are in your cupcake. I think they just add some moisture to the dessert.

In terms of preparation, everything went smoothly, EXCEPT for the icing. I didn't let the cheese melt enough before blending in the raspberry goodness and the icing sugar. So what happened was that instead of a fluid, uniform texture, my icing had lumps of cream cheese in it.

As always, the evidence:

The cupcake was quite delicious and moist. Although I think I would use less cream cheese next time - the icing is just too rich. And I'd blend it together better, too.

Final grade: 8.3/10. These might work well for Valentine's day - the pink icing and all. Unless you plan on your Valentine's Day to look like Jenn's... damn she looks good. Good like the way porkchops look good when you've had applesauce on the brain. All. Day. Long.

Eggs Benedict - Café Upper Crust

Eggs Benedict - 2 poached eggs on an English muffin, with back bacon & Hollandaise Sauce; hashbrowns & fresh fruit garnish - $11.25 CAD

Chai Latté - $3.75 CAD

***

Yes, I met up with a few of my AIMCo ex-corkers again. This time for breakfast. Yes Felix and Kim (the woman who ate my sandwich). We just chewed the fat about their work, my new work, my CASB results, winter tires, Christmas holidays and nothing about the New Orleans Saints. That was surprising.

It seems like the Upper Crust is in an older building. In need of a bit of an update. Like new windows and/or a new furnace, because it was darn cold in here (it was a balmy -26Celsius outside...) and my nipples were harder than diamonds. It's a fairly open dining room, and a little noisy considering that the average age of the patrons had to be about 50 years old.

I've been hankering some eggs benny for some time, so my decision was made moments after I opened the menu.

The food came within a reasonable time frame. It looked delicious. But it was cool - maybe it was due to the poor climate control or the fact that our waitress was, as Felix would say "on a Sunday pace on a Saturday". Disappointing. Regardless, it was still quite tasty - the Hollandaise sauce met the Chef's approval - just enough lemon juice to please the palate.... The fruit salad/garnish was definitely not made of "premium fruit", but those melons were still refreshing. Not a lot of hashbrowns, and they were cool but they were still seasoned well enough. Felix complained about his bacon - guess he's not a fan of Canadian back bacon...

Yeah, the waitress had some very nice legs (the Chef would give those an 8.2/10) it's just too bad she/they weren't coming over to check up on us often enough. Seriously, considering how busy it was (it wasn't), I don't know why it took so long to get our drinks or to get our(my) coffees refilled.

Here's the evidence:

Yes - if you look closely enough you may notice some food in my ketchup, but that's because some must have flown out of Kim's mouth onto my plate because she eats like this guy. I'm only kidding... well, half-kidding.

Overall I'd give my Upper Crust breakfast a 7.0 out of 10.

Guru Restaurant & Bar

1 Tahiti Treat $7.00  (no, not the soda pop)
2 Cobra Beer $12.00
1 Guru Sparkler $7.00
1 Butter Chicken Samosa $11.00
1 Fish Pakora $13.00
1 Lamb Vindaloo $18.00
1 Chana Masala $14.00
1 Coconut Rice $6.00
1 Saffron Rice $7.00
1 Paneer Naan $6.00
1 Rabri Gulab Jamun $8.00
1 Gajar Halwa $8.00
1 Kulfi $8.00

***

Chef's note: all prices in CAD. while I would normally give the entire menu description of my food choices, I just felt that providing a link to the restaurant site would be more efficient. Translation: I'm too f@cking lazy to type them all up.

I had first seen this restaurant late in the summer, back when I was driving to and from my work battling communism. It had only been about three weeks since my last visit to an Indian restaurant, but with nary a dinner date with my food friends for months and their recent move to St. Albert, I thought something on the west side of town would be appropriate. So I set the reservations for Friday evening and we were off!

The decor was quite nice - dark browns and nice lighting. Very clean. We also got a table near the naan ovens - and I with a direct view of the naan chef and said ovens.

The service was quite friendly, and for the most part quick and knowledgeable - just not very quick with the description of the Guru Sparkler, which my friend's wife had ordered.

First up - our drinks and appetizers! The beer was fine, nothing to write home about, but I was quite impressed with the Fish Pakora (not fishy at all) and even more so with the Butter Chicken Samosa. Honestly, I could have eaten those samosas all night. They were packed full of buttery chicken goodness, and cooked just right. While enjoying our apps, one of the chefs came out to check on us. Impressive.

The entrées came soon thereafter. The coconut rice was surprisingly good and sweet. Honest chunks of coconut and not just shavings were contained therein. The saffron rice, however, was a little disappointing. Maybe we were all just expecting too much? It was fine, but the flavour was quite faint. Probably a good thing so it could accompany and not over power the Lamb Vindaloo and Chana Masala (vegetarian dish). The lamb was seasoned and cooked just right, and the dish was quite spicy (you may notice that I had to have 2 Cobras....). The vegetables (chickpeas, onions & tomato) was also in a gravy, and was surprisingly hot as well. A friendly disagreement broke out between my friend and his wife over which dish was hotter. Using my quick wits and diplomacy, I was able to diffuse the situation by mentioning Nigella Lawson and her boobs... Not really - we just talked about how much of a crapbucket of a show "Village on a Diet" is. Again, the same chef came out to check on our food. Most impressive.

We had more than enough food, and I was certainly glad to not over eat. Our desserts comprised of: Gajar Halwa - shredded carrot mess (my dessert), Kulfi -frozen mango stuff (Chantelle's) and Sean had the Rabri Gulab Jamun - dumplings. At least that's what our bill says. I'm not so sure that's what he got... Regardless, saying I was disappointed with my dessert would be akin to saying that the Chargers' were disappointed with this guy. Yeah... I paid the price for getting something new, for going outside the box. Poor decision. The gajar halwa wasn't nearly sweet enough for a dessert, and the texture was very couscous-like - not my favourite. I shouldn't really say it was a poor dessert, rather I should say that my palate and my expectations were clearly too refined this evening.

The evidence:

Here's the Guru Sparkler.

The main courses:

Check out the Svenson elbow! You think those strips on the Lamb Vindaloo are bamboo shoots? So was I, but it's actually ginger.


Very good meal indeed. I'd give it a solid 8.1 out of 10. No question I would go back.